Monday, May 11, 2009

That's what friends are for

During the week, for no clear reason, my mood was somewhat grouchy and I was not filled with warm fuzzy feelings. I didn’t really want to leave for the weekend because I didn’t feel a warm connection with Jason and the kids. I thought I should spend the weekend with them, have quality time, and get that loving feeling back. But I had a commitment to do a triathlon.

On Friday morning I left for Lake Las Vegas with seven of my girl friends. We drove, we ate, we slept, we supported each other during the triathlon, we relaxed at the pool, we watched a chick flick, we laughed, we talked, we hugged, and WE CONNECTED as only women do.

Sunday evening I returned home feeling not only closer to those wonderful girls but I felt like myself again. I felt refreshed and connected to my kind husband and my sweet kids.

Since the day I was married, Jason has always encouraged me to spend time with my friends and have some girl time (maybe so I will give him more man time to golf :) ). My response has always been that I don’t need to. I’d rather stay home and hang out with Jason. Though I have had girlfriends through the years I don’t feel like I have made enough of an effort to really spend time with them. Hence I have never felt like I’m a very good friend.

Because of this trip I have gained more of a perspective on the importance of taking time to BE WITH my girlfriends, which is much different than just HAVING girlfriends.

Here are a few quotes from a study on friendship among women.

“A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are. By the way, they may do even more.”

“Study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. There's no doubt, says Dr. Klein, that friends are helping us live longer.”

“Women thrive both emotionally and physically from close friendships with other women. These bonds are important for female well-being and livelihood.”

Why is it so hard to find time to be with our girlfriends, especially when we need to "soothe our tumultuous inner world?" (Sounds pretty serious)

“Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women, explains Dr. Josselson. We push them right to the back burner. That's really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women. It's a very healing experience.”

The weekend definitely healed my grouchy mood. If anyone would like to join us next year you are more than welcome. Come and have some girl bonding time and do some "special kind of talk." (Participating in the triathlon is optional.)

Thank you Kristi, Wendy, Rosanne, Jeana, Minnie, Deanne, and Amy for being my girlfriends and for the wonderful time I had.



Before the swim
"Let's have some fun!"











"Glad the swim is over, now get this bike ride done."



"What a race."








"We deserve a yummy dinner."

15 comments:

Wendy Bird said...

What a great trip! THank you for talking me into going. It was a much needed vacation with my girls. Maybe next year I will be able to do it. Thanks for making it so much fun. I love you!

Kristi said...

What a great entry! And So True. Had a great time. It is on for next year.

Bonnie said...

Could you guys BE any cooler???

kennoncrew said...

its all so true! that was definately the best girl-bonding ever! i am so grateful to have such awesome girlfriends! i'm looking forward to lots more fun times together!

Julie said...

What a blast! I'm glad you had some fun girl time, your post truely shows how important it is.

Natty bee Seely said...

Great catching up on your blog. We must get together. baby is coming June 2nd. So let's get together in August. Does Jason do spinal for C sections? You look great and I can't wait to start working out again. Maybe I can be in your kick butt girl club.

rosanne said...

I love you, Suzanne.

Em said...

Woohoo! Great post!

Annejelynn said...

That's right! You were to be here last week! -you stinker!! Why on earth didn't you call me? I would have come to Lake LV just for an hour or whatever in order to see your event! humpht... you owe me now.

Jill Taylor said...

Why are you so freaking buff? Do you have to actually work out to look like you? And how do you know Amy Ekstrom? I went to school with her although I didn't really know her I just knew of her. Glad you had fun and I totally agree that we all need time away sometimes. Hopefully I will see you soon. I can't make it to the party this weekend cause I will be in Southern Utah, but I want to have a girls night dinner with everyone soon.

Trisha said...

You go girl! That is very impressive! I need to jump on the "get in shape wagon" and stop falling off.

Teresa said...

Your posts are always so inspiring or touching or empowering! I loved all of those quotes as I always feel so much more connected after talking with my sister and you've just given me a reason to justify those weekly long distance calls! You girls are all AMAZING by the way. I have a hard enough time going into the other room and getting on my treadmill let alone traveling anywhere...

Elasha said...

Hey Suzanne - Matt reconnected with Jason and we visited your blog after many months - it looks like you and your family are thriving! Congratulations on the triathlon accomplishment and I'm glad you got a break and it was just what you needed. We look forward to seeing you guys when we move out sometime this summer.

janet said...

First of all, congrats on another tri and on looking like a rockstar.

Second of all, I totally hear you when you WANT so badly to be the best mom/wife, but that enthusiasm doesn't always come from spending quality time WITH them. You are lucky to have such a supportive husband who encourages you to have girl time. If we don't take care of ourselves (physically/emotionally) it's really hard to take care of everyone else.

Love you, girl. But I am mad at you too for not allowing me to be part of your cheering section.. I'm sure I was busy anyway-- painting my toenails or something.

Jess said...

Yeah for girl bonding! I want in next year :)