They're Family

Almost 16 years ago my sister Jen had a beautiful, healthy baby boy named Kevin. She made the ultimate sacrifice. Jen lovingly and unselfishly gave her baby up for adoption. Thoughtfully and with inspiration Jen chose to give her baby to a wonderful couple named Christian and Maude. From the very beginning Christian and Maude wanted an open adoption. Though LDS family services did not provide this option they were able to get through some loop holes and get connected with Jen. From that time on they have been family.

Christian and Maude are from Austria and at the time were living in Salt Lake City. Two years after adopting Kevin they adopted another boy, Jeffery. Thirteen months after Jeffery was born, Maude gave birth to a little girl, Sophia. When Kevin was three years old the family moved back to Austria where Christain and Maude have been raising their children.

There obviously has always been a strong connection between Jen and the Hoeferl family. At the very beginning Jen and my family went to the temple to support Christian and Maude when my Grandpa sealed Kevin to them. Each time Jen or any of my other siblings go to Europe they always stop in Austria to visit. From time to time Christian and Maude bring their family to the US and make an effort to stay in Salt Lake for awhile.

This past week they were in Salt Lake City and we enjoyed seeing them so much! They did many activities involving all or some of my family members. Jen was consistent at being at every event. Some of the activities included Lagoon, rock climbing twice, boating at Jordanelle, Boondocks, and a wonderful family dinner at Wendy’s house. One evening they came to my house so my kids could play the piano for them. My piano is sentimental to me because Christian hooked us up with one of his Brodmann pianos, a piano company he owns in Austria.

Kevin’s primary language is German and though he speaks English pretty well he is quite shy verbally. We haven’t spoken many words to each other but there’s really no need. I love him and I know he feels a deep connection to his family in the US. He has always had a strong need to know where he came from and his heritage. I know he loves being a part of his family in Utah and it means a lot to him that he has two families that really love him.

I like this song by Michael McLean (I can’t get it on my playlist, bummer). I think these may have been some of the thoughts and feelings Jen had at the age of 18 when faced with the decision to give Kevin to Christian and Maude.

From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Yours:

So many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure

If I can ever hope to trust my judgement anymore.

But lately I've been thinking,

Cause it's all I've had to do.

And in my heart I feel that I

Should give this child to you.

And maybe, you could tell your baby,

When you love him so, that he's been loved before,

By someone, who delivered your son,

From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

If you choose to tell him,

If he wants to know,

How the one who gave him life

Could bear to let him go.

Just tell him there were sleepless nights,

I prayed and paced the floors,

And knew the only peace I'd find

Was if this child was yours.

And maybe, you could tell your baby,

When you love him so, that he's been loved before,

By someone, who delivered your son,

From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

This may not be the answer,

For another girl like me.

But I'm not on a soapbox,

Saying how we all should be.

I'm just trusting in my feelings,

And I'm trusting God above,

And I'm trusting you can give this baby

Both his mothers' love.

And maybe, you could tell your baby,

When you love him so, that he's been loved before,

By someone, who delivered your son,

From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

I have no doubt that Kevin knows Jen loves him, and our entire family does as well. I really feel blessed to have such a wonderful family, and as far as I am concerned the Hosenfelds and Hoeferls are one and the same.

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